“Hypocrisy and the men of Kuwait”

January 23, 2007

girls-rule.jpg My brother emailed me this article (posted below) and I found the food part funny..

Something worth a look at.. and actually think about..

Now I’ll leave you to read it while I go back to my guitar…

Yes Guitar.. and yeah it’s probably another phase ! I’m sick… again… in bed… again… and I’m bored of TV and this screen.. a little music is entertaining.. I found it hard to place the piano on my lap as I’m too tired to sit up straight.. so I’m playing the guitar.. lets see how long this will last :P

Hypocrisy and the men of Kuwait

By Fouad Al-Obaid

“In a series of discussions with my peers (all Kuwaiti, all studying abroad), I was amazed to hear the various stories each one of them had to tell. Before sharing with you the stories, I would like to quickly refresh the reader about a concept I that I touched upon concerning my fellow peers about their notion of women. Kuwaiti guys – young adults as much as grown ups – all seem in search of two things: money and women. Always desiring more, maybe this comes from the idea that the grass is fine here but may be better over there. In contemporary Kuwait, dating remains unacceptable. Some may tolerate it, but few practice it completely openly. The dilemma is this: Guys want girls, just as much as girls want guys.

Whether society approves or not, people date. When the majority of the people in a society indulge in something, is it still plausible to consider it wrong or un-acceptable? Although open access to the opposite sex still remains difficult to find (less so than I originally thought) it usually starts with a casual Bluetooth flirt, followed by late night chats and then secret meetings here and there. To the average reader nothing seems to be too problematic. But dig deeper. If it is somewhat accepted that guys would want to develop relations with girls, this could not be said of girls wanting to have boyfriends, although logically without the latter, guys wouldn’t be able to have girlfriends.

What remains intriguing is this: Guys often take pride in the number of girls they are dating at the same time. They often like to brag about his exploits to his friends. Yet if you asked such a person if he would accept that his sister dated, if for instance she was dating this other guy-how would he feel? The answer is rather simple. At best he would try to find the guy that dated his sister and beat the hell out of him. Yet when you tell him that he risks exactly that, his response is: I never forced the girl and she simply wasn’t “raised” properly! What I want to point out is the notion that people are either lying to themselves or are simply foolish in believing that if every person seems to be having multiple “girlfriends” that ultimately, none would happen to be either sisters, cousins, aunts, or mothers!

Another friend brought up this notion. I asked him if he was ready to settle. Having reached the age of 28, it would be around time to get married, perhaps have children. The person in question was not against the idea. He realised that time was ticking and that he should start to look to settling down. Still didn’t seem ready. He loves the fact of being free (i.e. not in a permanent relationship).

Furthermore living abroad he enjoyed the idea of being able to be with many different girls. In fact he came up with this notion that university is nothing more than a restaurant. He then jokingly asked me, do you usually bring food with you when you go to a restaurant? One is to understand that food being girls, and the food he was mentioning is a wife!


For thoughts and comments fouad@kuwaittimes.net

P.s.

I’m still a RockStar !!

and boys.. this post isn’t directed to you.. or maybe it is.. who cares.. I’m a RockStar !!

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39 Responses to ““Hypocrisy and the men of Kuwait””

  1. Zed said

    i like the article..i think we should date openly, cause dating doesnt mean sex…. there’s a big difference… and yes i would let my sister date, if i knew the guy and his background.. and i would definitly take my sisters opinion on my girlfriend….if we dont date then we’re stuck marrying ppl we dont know well enough, hence the high divorce rate .. maybe thats just my opinion,i f we dont learn to grow, we’ll never evolve as a society…

    Zed:
    Mabrook 3ala the new nick :)
    I agree, there is a difference between dating and mating.. I hope this society does start to accept change so we can evolve as you mentioned.. otherwise we will continue to live in the stone age !

  2. Marzouq said

    Very interesting article and very true! That is the stance I take, if it was my sister I wouldn’t be happy about it so I dont do it! apply it to yourself before others! That is the route I have taken, but as the article has spoken I know many who have the same mentallity! Its sad!

    Your a rockstar and you know it!

    MZzee:
    Exactly.. It is sad !

    hehehe yeah I know :P

  3. Tooomz said

    Rock on ;)

    Tooomz:
    WoooHoooo ;)

  4. do0da said

    I’ve talked bout this with friends alot and the stuff you hear when this comes up are soo ridiculous its funny in the end im left saying hmph 9ij kuwait :p oo cursin the stupidity of some of the ppl in it.

    Id love to say my part in the whole thing bes its a bit too long for me to rant on in a comment box :P fa il pass and leave you with a line to match ur rock star phase :P

    its sad but true :P

    do0da:
    Darling you can rant all you like here.. and you’re so right.. “hmph 9ij kuwait” :P

  5. Angelo said

    I loved it…100% True. Thanks Diigmaa…great find indeed :)

    Angelo:
    Glad you liked it sunshine ;)

  6. um-mit3iib said

    3ayazt wana agoool 7ag my friends ena mara7 tertha ikhtik itkalem or whtever.. u know wht one told me?

    e7na bil kuwait.. il walad ekalem malyoon wa7da w mayaby ikhta itkalem.. wil ikht itkalem wel okho ma yadre.. 3ade live with it :P

    um-mit3iib:
    yeah true.. heard that too.. so silly.. I guess we can live with it.. but better yet we live the way we want let them live with it ;)

  7. Laialy_q8 said

    a good writer for sure

    Laialy:
    Sure is !

  8. miyafushi said

    So true babe, whats worse is that its not limited to that.

    These guys end up getting married and continue living their single life, doing stuff with ‘other’ girls while the wife sits crying at home.

    Why, cause they think, 3aib my wife does this or that…

    Bes uhwa 3ady 6ab3an.

    and BTW, they KNOW they are hypocrites :)

    Pathetic I know.

    MiYooSh:
    Thats even a bigger issue.. you’re absolutely right.. what ppl don’t understand is that it’s deeper and goes on even further than the initial years of any relationship.. ppl need to open their minds to help bring their unities closer.. I wish they would coz it truly is pathetic.

  9. I totally agree with miyafushi.

    Very cool article. It’s interesting to see a guy’s point of view. Isn’t it funny how there is no love involved – that its just about the numbers and women are looked on as a commodity (something you can consume and then toss out)..

    i like guitars – never actually got around to playing one. My guitar stands lonely in my cupboard waiting for a savior. :P

    cixousianpanic:
    Love should be the first and foremost reason for 2 ppl to be together.. but like you pointed out, to an extent, both men and women in this country are regarded in a different perspective.. whether it was to use and abuse or to lear in and take advantage of specially marriage !

    bring your Guitar and come make some noise with me sunshine :P

  10. Yes I agree, men suck, throw rocks at em. :)

    Entre:
    Not all.. but eemmm-okkaaay ;P

  11. Swair said

    wehehehe.. it made me laugh lol but it is true, men do sometimes suck..

    Swair:
    yeah.. hehe my thought exactly ;)

  12. Hitman1 said

    A pretty interesting article indeed. thanks for sharing

    By the way, I play the guitar as well… we should Jam sometime :)

    Hitman1:
    Your Welcome darling :)
    and we should Jam !! (I suck btw.. hehe playing by ear.. total begginer and teaching myself :P)

  13. omtantoo7 said

    nefaaaaQ mo 6abee3i ! we’re all against it.. bes in some way or the other we’re all supporting it even without knowing it ;|

    omtantoo7:
    Thats why I say do what you want and let change take over ;)

  14. Pooj said

    Asian’s need to conform to social hierarchy.

    A friend of mine was telling me how crazy he was about this one girl many months ago. When I recently caught up w/him he told me how he broke up w/her coz her EX came up to him and told him about “intimate liasons” he has w/his GF.

    Lo and behold – girl got the boot and his final comment was “Anyways, I had a good time and had my fair share of MORE action than the EX”. (Ego’s surely dominate the human mind)

    When I asked him – what happened if someone did that to either of his 2 sisters. He curtly replied, “MY SISTERS ARE NOT LIKE THAT.”

    Point noted. (Not that he’s been keeping his eyes and ears open too much I guess)

    *Sigh*

    Poojie:
    That horrid ! yet so typical !
    *Sigh*

  15. MESAJ said

    Can we all just leave this place and go far far far away, i want Cuba ! who’s in ?

    MESAJ:
    Welcome to my Virtual home Tweetums ;)
    so nice of you to pass by.. and YOU know I’m in !!
    when’s the flight ?

  16. Sweetd said

    tadreen! i once asked a guy this Q if he minds that his sister dated other guys and he went furious! its a shame the mentality of guys here! God help us!
    :) thanx great Blog and site;)

    Sweetd:
    Welcome to my blog sunshine.. glad you like it ;)
    the mentality is a shame and sij sij God help us !

  17. Yazeed said

    its not just a kuwaiti point of view
    its pretty much an arab point of view

    the thing that hit me and which really showed the “hypocrisy of men” is the “she wasnt raised properly” thing.
    If she wasnt raised properly oo “6ay7a min 3ainik” ib hal na7ya, why date her?

    even in the west, a father would be proud of his son when he starts dating, but he will hate the idea of his daughter starting to date.

    you cant really change this issue, just find the girl/guy you want to be with and live with it, you cant even change this, so its not worth it if you try and do something about it

    take it eeZeeeeeeeeeeeeee ;)

    YaZooZ:
    I agree with the fact that you should find someone with the same views and take it from there.. but I also think that rimes are changing and so is this aspect.. it probably will never evolve completely to openly dating.. but it has been gaining more acceptance and becoming a norm in many circles :)
    and yeah we should take it eeZeeeee ;P

  18. no3ik said

    hmmmmmmmffffffffffffff

    ok this was the wrong time for me to read this!!
    i feel like literaly knocking someone out!!!
    i mean a guy not just anyone some guys head off or somethig

    ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    i more than agree with the article!!! HYPOCRATES.
    not just kuwaitis .. most arabs and specialy in the gulf area dear
    in arabic: 7alal 3laihum o 7aram 3la `3airhum.

    so yes … they should be responsible. but now adays, hard to find responsible ppl in general theyre being spoon fead and spoiled so they live by the rule: i get what i want.
    and apply it on everything, wives, girls and relationships amongst other material things ofcourse.
    ok i think im drifting from the topic but its somehow connected in my head! :s

    ok girl i miss u YL ROCK STAR!!
    im coming over were gona start our own band …
    bs i want the guitar 3ad … :* shofeelich 9irfa.

    NooBa:
    eee wayed sa7 sa7 ! so typical ina “I get what I want” o the whole “7alal 3alaihom” thing… but even worse in my head is “ana rayaal ma e3eebny shay” .. whatever.. you are also judged whether you like it or not specialy when you have a mentality like that ! otherwise what you do is not a matter to others ! ukkkkh
    o yella I miss you the most o the guitar is yours 7ayati.. I WANNA BE THE LEAD SINGER :P

  19. I really enjoyed reading your comments! Well guys, and girls we are the future of Kuwait so, it’s upon us all to change the mentality if we think that something is wrong. One think that i can stress less is the following, change comes from within it can not be imposed from outside, so if you want society to change, start by changing your own habits. Now as to dating or not, i leave that up to you to decide….

    Fouad Al-Obaid:
    Hello Fouad and welcome to my blog.
    On behalf of my readers and myself, I would like to thank you for your great article and kind visit on this post.
    I agree and believe we should all change from within and time will let things happen at a slow pace.. but soon enough it would happen whether society accepts it or not.
    again thank you for your visit and great article :)

  20. BLaSha said

    walla zen someone can write like this… and luv yer hedkani header :*

    BLaSha:
    yeah it is zain ;)
    glad you like the header.. it’s by Jason Brooks :)

  21. Elijah said

    Rock on girl and you better teach me how to play the guitar ;)

    Elijah:
    hehe woohoo.. once I learn myself I’ll teach you all the cool stuff :P

  22. adorra said

    I miss kuwaiti men :-(

    adorra:
    awww you poor baby… a pack a few up for you in a box and FedEx them ;*

  23. Hey, what an article! The topic has come up so many times on so many occasions, the arab world, Kuwait, guys, girls, dating.. all make me a sad panda!

    \m/O\m/

    Rock on, and I hope you’re talkin about an electric guitar and not a classic one :P

    Transparently:
    don’t be sad sunshine ;)
    remember you can make anything work to your advantage and heelp change this silliness :)
    emm well you really should know your classics before fiddling with an electric one.. haven’t you ever seen Crossroads :P

  24. I also want to add one more thing, I just visited hottopic the cloth store to look for something, and there it was “Unleash the RockStar within” and you pop into my head, here’s the picture from the site.

    Transparently:
    Lol
    That is so sweeeeeeeeeet :)

  25. do0da said

    i knw you’re a busy rock star n all but even busy rock stars have time to write a post.

    do0da:
    emmm I pwoomiiiiish I will

  26. Zahed said

    i think men should always end up with a wife that has the same click but being someone else with your wife would never work i mean if your the party type of guy it woudlnt hurt to tag your wife along if its a decent place but if you think its wrong then you shouldnt be there in the first place buddy plus you shouldnt be married too cause a wife or marriage is all about sharing and being together but in the other hand we men never think that way i guess i should end it here.

    Zahed:
    welcome to my blog.. ppl have to be honest and not lead double lives.. I agree..

  27. Yazeed said

    damn this place is dusty
    *blowing the dust away*

    clean it up!

    YaZooZ:
    ma3indy feather duster :P

  28. Baroque said

    hey rockstar..
    whats up with all this sickness?
    anyhoo, i agree this is just another aspect that differentiates kuwaiti society from others around it, we are double faced and paradox by nature.. u gotta love that *sarcastically* ;p

    B,
    We’ll discuss this over Tea ;P

  29. B said

    Hey .. Well what can we say! That’s most of kuwait men for you.. ! all we have to do is cross our fingers and hope for the good ones to come our way! :s

    B:

    D is Crossing her fingers… crossing her fingers :P

  30. lexi said

    hi fouad…i came across your article because im really in love with this kuwaiti guy i met but the problem is that i’m american and he was born and raised in kuwait. unfortunately, the bigger problem is that when i met him he already had a kuwaiti girlfriend and we decided to just have a summer fling. in the end we fell in love and tried to make it work. do you think the odds are against us seeing as how im christian and he’s muslim and that his girlfriend is from his same culture and religion? any advice would be greatly appreciated! p.s. you are a phenomenal writer!

    xoxo,
    lexi

  31. F said

    I dont think we should “date openly.” I mean, that’s allll we need, dating openly. I7na with not dating openly o balawi 3ayal lo “openly” 3ala golata. I’m completley against that stupid mentality. Itha mater’6a 3ala ikhtik laish ter’6a 3ala banat il nas. The Golden rule people, the golden rule! “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” I mean, you have to be reaaally stupid to act in a way that contradicts that rule. Why would you talk to 700 girls and do stuff with them if you dont think it’s right enough for your sister to do? Why? Maybe because… it’s wrong? Maybe? Ever considered that? I personally choose not to date for the mere fact that I think it’s a waste of time. I’m a bit old-fashioned. I believe in “tabeeny? ikh6ebny” and you’ll get to know me then. Other than that, love stories, waste of time… I really cannot afford to do that. Life is short, and I really am planning to go somewhere. I’m not going to get distracted by some asshole who’s quite obviously lying to me, telling me he’ll “marry” me, because 1. I’m not that stupid. 2. Anything after 2 months of “getting to know me”, is a waste of time.

    o mashkooreen, o ya36eekum il 3afya,
    F.Al-H

  32. un-known said

    lexi, what the fuck ! ur not kuwaiti nor muslim , all u wanted was a fling with a guy that was in a relationship. u have done ur damage so step out the way now cuz u gotta know that no one wants a hoe like u. keep fuckin arround with ur ppl from the US and back-off from mine. isn’t it enough that we have our own problems… no one needs a hoe in the picture so bounce bitch!

  33. FAR said

    Prophet Muhammed was right when he said that his people during the end of days will be like the worse…

    • Amit said

      You are correct, a sgiratht line is the shortest distance between two points when the playing field is flat. The earth isn’t flat so a curved line is actually shorter.It’s called the Great Circle Routeif you would have gone in a sgiratht line from D.C. to the middle east it could have easily been 4 hours LONGER.

  34. A Girl said

    ell, my opinion is that the most of guys that are here r hypocrite, cuz all of them had Gf, and all of them wont accept that to their sisters
    what a fuck?!!!
    u know u dont have to discuss this cuz it wont change
    we are arabs, and our mentality wont change wherever we go
    so lets do it in secret as always.
    thats the problem, all the parents know that their girls r in relations, but they dont wanna confess it, its like , do it but i dont wanna see u.
    But there is some opened families who accept their children relation girls and boys
    its just the same, the point is to make a serious relation but with limits and limits doesnot mean to stay do what u want but still virgin
    limits means, No Touching, No hugs, No kiss, No Sex, just a pure relation, and if u wont be patient just get out of this relations and look for bitches

  35. abeer said

    This is common phenomenal perhaps a bit obvious when we relate it to Arabs because as we know the whole world knows about Arabs n sex. Just my 2 cents.

  36. rajsharma said

    i…lovi kuwait city

  37. Yes, total hypocrites! I agree. Great blog btw! This is so true and i think its a shame that people think this way:( What can i say, all we can do is just live the way you truly think is right.. I personally don’t care about anyone else’s opinion i do what i think is right.

    I do respect other peoples mentality, but i don’t get the same respect from others who have a different mentalities then me. Its like we all have to be the same, here in Kuwait. Or else if were different then were bad. WTF! Were not freekin robots and we don’t all have to think or act alike. Why cant people here just respect the fact that we all have different thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. Just because i act or think different, does not make me a bad person!

    A lot of peoples mentalities are very different here in Kuwait. Not only in Kuwait the Arab world in general.What can i say you cant change the way the people here have been brain washed:)) Thanks for sharing:)

    Peace

  38. Nike said

    Nice words about guys from kuwait

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